I lost my job 2 days before Christmas.
Yup, I was dealt a rather large curveball just before I disappeared for a few nights into the forest for a much-deserved break away. But you know what, it oddly came at the right time for me. The break away gave me some time to digest and absorb the information and come to terms with it, and I could start the new year with my expectations being pretty low!
Now, if I’d been dealt that kind of blow 10 years ago, I would have crumpled. I would have curled up in a ball, sobbed uncontrollably, and probably struggled to get out of bed. My anxiety would have overwhelmed me, depression would have consumed me, my inner critic would have taken the reigns and reminded me how crap I am and that I deserve everything bad that happens to me. 10 years ago, my resilience was at an all-time low.
So what’s changed? Why have I not crumpled, disappeared into my bed never to return to civilisation again? Why am I not consumed with anxiety?
Here is how I now cope with the doom and gloom thoughts and fears of the future; a future which, by the way, does not exist! Here are simple steps I would encourage anyone to take when life throws you an unexpected event:
Nourish your body! – by eating regular meals full of liver-supporting vegetables like the crucifers, and consuming good quality proteins at every meal. The protein will support the nervous system which is a bit taxed at the moment, understandably. Don’t skip meals, don’t face plant the chocolate cake, as tempting as it may be. By skipping meals during a stressful time it can actually increase cortisol levels leaving you feeling a lot more anxious. Junk food and high sugar food products obliterate the healthy gut microbiome, causing a negative knock-on effect on the nervous system. (More on the gut-brain axis in later posts!)
Burn that adrenaline and cortisol off – move the body daily. Even thinking worrying thoughts causes a hormonal reaction in the body whereby stress hormones are released and circulated. Fears of the future is not real because the future does not exist, however, you can’t help but create a narrative about the worst-case scenarios – it’s how we’ve evolved and succeeded, evolutionarily speaking. The emotions that arise are real, and they need to be processed. Yoga, breath work, thought-field therapy, running, boxing – whatever you want – just get that energy moving through the body.
Sleep – get disciplined about sleep. Listen to your body and nap when you need to. Go to bed and switch all the lights off. Remove the electronics. Cancel out the noises with ear plugs. Expose the body and eyes to outside light every morning without fail. Without sleep, the body cannot heal. Without sleep, the nervous system is less resilient. Without sleep, the immune system is seriously compromised.
Meditate, thought-field therapy, breath work – all innervate the Vagus nerve which is involved in the ‘rest and digest’ nervous system state. These interventions encourage gamma-amino-butyric acid (GABA) in the central nervous system, leaving you feeling calmer, because GABA is a inhibitory neurotransmitter and it slows.things.down….
Reframe and Replace Thoughts – “I have tons of time now to direct my energy into something valuable” “I can focus on what I want” “This is an ideal time to direct my energy inward, recalibrate, and make decisions more mindfully” “This isn’t the end of the world. Nothing is permanent” “I’m a resourceful and tenacious person; something will come up” “I have faith there is a blessing in disguise here”
Lean on your teachers – I’ve cultivated a network of support over the years, and it’s rather unconventional but that doesn’t matter. I look to my friends for moral support and I’m a lot better at asking for help if I need it. The latter is extremely important. Asking for help is like exercising a muscle you’ve never worked before. It’s uncomfortable at first but it gets easier. If you’re struggling for community look to some wonderful people online. I love spiritual and philosophical leaders such as Eckhart Tolle, Danielle La Porte, Teal Swan, Alan Watts and Thich Naht Hanh. Their wisdom and words have lifted me countless times.
The last 2 major things to consider is reducing alcohol during this time à it’s a depressant after all, and keeping busy. Create a schedule, create small goals to smash, easy wins, and encourage that dopamine release (that’s the neurotransmitter that makes you feel satisfied when you’ve hit a goal or achieved something) 😊
In the end, this state isn’t permanent. Something will give. And as my grandfather always said, “It all comes out in the wash”.
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